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家庭教育與諮商學刊

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篇名 伴侶不忠的信任危機處理歷程
卷期 23
並列篇名 Trust crisis management process of partner’s infidelity
作者 曾秀雲謝文宜
頁次 001-038
關鍵字 危機處理伴侶不忠信任危機親密信任crisis managementtrust crisistrust in intimate relationshipspartner’s infidelity
出刊日期 202012

中文摘要

本研究採立意兼採滾雪球取樣,邀請12位歷經伴侶不忠的信任破壞與修復,但仍選擇持續留在原關係中的異性戀女性進行半結構式的深入訪談,探討被背叛者歷經伴侶不忠的信任危機處理歷程。研究者歸納訪談資料,從信任危機警訊、揭露與處理三個階段,討論被背叛者個人、關係與社會層面的變化。本研究發現:在個人層面,被背叛者歷經敏感多慮的不確定性,過度以性別化分工來轉移注意力,出現依附創傷的身心反應,進而停止自我折磨,重拾自我價值,提升自我覺察,重新調整互動模式與生活順序因應信任破壞後的身心反應。在關係層面,被背叛者觀察到對方刻意拉開距離、改變行為與增加衝突後,想辦法查證事實真相、澄清細節,處理兩人關係界線的矛盾與掙扎,進而強調不做破壞關係的事,給予機會表達、澄清與重新評估,以具體的行動持續修復關係,選擇原諒與相信來修復關係。在社會層面,多數親友在警訊階段沒有察覺兩人關係變化,但在危機揭露後,被背叛者思考揭露後果的最佳利益,注意到家人關係的移動,進而跨出家庭角色,尋求社會支持與資源連結,協助伴侶重新融入家族關係,修復關係。

英文摘要

The authors used purpose sampling and snowballing methods to invite female participants who had experienced partner’s infidelities and chose to stay and repair trust in the couple relationship. Twelve participants were recruited and in-depth interviews were conducted to investigate their trust crisis management process of partner’s infidelity. The authors tried to discuss the changes the participants went through from crisis warning, disclosure of the affair, managing the crisis three different stages at personal, relational, and social levels. The findings of this study are as follow: at the personal level, the betrayed first experienced anxious uncertainty, then tried to distract their attention. They might start to show attachment injury, and then progressed to stop self-torture, regain self-value, increase self-awareness, and then to readjust marital interaction and priority in life. At the relational level, the betrayed started to aware partner’s distant attitude, behavior changes, and having more conflicts. They then would try to investigate what happened, clarify details of the affair, and redefine the marital boundary. They would then focused on not doing anything destructive, giving partner opportunities to explain himself, reevaluating the relationship, taking action to continue repairing the relationship, and finally choosing to forgive and trust again. At the social level, most of their friends and relatives did not notice their relational changes during the crisis warning stage. After the affair being exposed, the betrayed would consider their best interest, pay attention to the relational movement between family members, step out of the family role, seek social support and resources, and finally to help their partners to reconnect with other family members.

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