本文主要分享在自身在研究過程中，遇到研究方法與研究上的質疑、以及對同志關係經營的認識。文中論述以作為異性戀者進行同志研究從此岸到彼岸如何可能作為論述的起點，緊接著討論研究訪談作為訪問者與受訪者互利的行為、學術關懷與日常生活經驗的斷裂、文化優勢的異性戀研究者如何進行同志研究等議題，進而稟持著真誠、尊重與關心的研究態度，讓我們得以摘下自身的偏見與歧視，逐步跨越研究性別的框架，看見同志伴侶如何在極地裡有著展望春天的關係經營，呈顯出彈性、多元、豐富的性別腳本與「去性別化」的家務分工。

The purpose of this article is to share and reflect authors’ experience in doing homosexual couple relationship research: the doubts and difficulties encountered, and the knowledge gained through such study. The authors started by discussing the possibility of heterosexual researchers doing homosexual study, and the reciprocal behaviors between the interviewers and the interviewees. The topics of academic caring, the differences in life experiences, how heterosexual researchers doing homosexual studies were also discussed.The authors suggested that having a sincere, honest, respectful and caring research attitude is important to help us overcome possible discrimination and biases. This attitude also helps us leaping over the gender framework to see how homosexual couples managing and maintaining their relationships in an unfriendly world, and to create a diverse and flexible couple life with less gender role specific household work sharing.