文化對自我的影響自不待言，但自我並非單向地接受文化的塑造，而是在個己的欲望與文化期待下來來回回。本研究從自我的角度出發，並鎖定「夫妻關係」此情境脈絡，透過夫妻職家角色的扮演來看其各自的堅持與退讓。兩個自我的過招，迫使個體思考「我是誰？」、「這是我要的生活嗎？」、「什麼是我要堅持的？」等問題，進而可在職家角色扮演過程中，看到自我困頓與明朗的轉變過程。本研究遵循質性研究典範中的敘說分析，採用深度訪談法，邀請夫妻同時受訪以了解他們的互動樣貌。研究結果指出：(1)自我同受「文化規範」與「關係互依」的雙重夾擊。自我雖不斷將各種角色予以內化，挫折衝突則有助於個體對「我是誰？」有所反思。在關係之中，兩人共組家庭，磨合的過程便是夫妻雙方自我的角力。(2)在文化規範與關係互依的雙重夾擊下，自我是否有多重的可能？結果顯示個人需有自覺醒悟，才能讓各種角色兼容並蓄。在關係中超越我執，感通他人的需求，拓展自我的彈性，方能開創職家角色扮演的新路徑，以及自我的新樣貌。前述歷程中，我們可看到自我的不易改變、與文化的相互創造，以及由主轉客的彈性。

Culture has unique importance in shaping the self. However, the self is not a passive receiver. The self is evident in determining the extent of individual desire vs. cultural expectation. The present study employed role playing in a situated context (marital relationships) to examine the persistence and yielding of each partner’s self. The interaction of two selves forces individual to think “Who am I? Is this what I want?” We hope to observe the transform of self in the answers to these questions. We used in-depth qualitative interviews to draw on the rich life experiences of participants to understand how they negotiate with their spouses. Our participants were three married couples and one wife whose husband declined interview request. The average age was 35.57 years old. Using narrative analysis, our results indicated that: (1) When acting one’s role in accordance with social expectations, frustration and conflict give individuals an opportunity for introspection. Furthermore, married individuals have to negotiate with the “selves” of their spouses. (2) Individuals need to perceive themselves as acting beyond social expectation, answering the question of whether it is possible to keep multiple selves when facing pressure from both cultural norms and interdependent relationship requirements. Individuals need to be self-reflexive and strike a balance between gratifying others’ expectations and transcending the view other people have of them. Couples can create new work and family roles and also new selves. From these processes, it is possible to unravel the nature of the self, including impermeability, and situated-embeddness.